| If ever given the choice between too much confidence and too little, I'd definitely choose the former. The problem with that is finding humbleness within that confidence. Sometimes, I see people as being extremely humble, but when I give the situation a second thought, I sometimes wonder if they're humble or just.. scared. A few weeks ago, we hired a teacher who didn't know much about the job we had hired her to do, so we taught and trained her. Simple, right? A week ago, she stopped coming because she felt incapable. My mom called her in, assured her that she'd be okay, and today, she quit. Again. It just doesn't make sense to me that a woman in her thirties could be so frightened to take on something new. Maybe it's because I'm still a student so learning isn't such a formidable concept. Maybe it's the way I've been brought up. Or maybe it's just my nature - I'm naturally curious and love learning new things. Maybe I'm just ambitious and realize that the more I know, the higher up I can climb in the future. Whatever the reason, I find it funny that a nineteen year old girl is doing what a thirty-some year old feels like she can't. I don't mean to sound rude or arrogant, but it just doesn't make sense to me. When I'm thirty and counting, I don't want to be upped in ablility by a teenager. Maybe it's just a matter of confidence. My friend (A) and I once talked about having friends with too much confidence and friends with too little. We have a friend (B) who is very confident in her looks; not stuck up, just confident. I never thought "B" was that good looking so I always was a little baffled as to why she could so openly talk about guys checking her out and wanting to take her on dates. I usually took her stories with a grain of salt because I didn't really think so many guys were into her. To tell the truth, I was a little uncomfortable when she would talk about those guys, mainly because I felt like I was a bad friend because I didn't think she "deserved" the attention. Then A told me something pretty interesting. She told me she thought God granted "less pretty" people with more confidence, because wouldn't it be a horrible life to lack good looks and to have self-esteem problems? Bad looks and good self-esteem almost balances out, it seems. God's pretty fair, huh. She asked me whether I would rather an overly-confident friend or a friend who needed constant affirmation. I didn't even need to answer that. I know I'm a pretty selfish person, especially with regard to my words of affirmation and time. I don't give them because I think they're a waste of time. I don't usually "choose" unconfident friends because they're harder to be with. It wasn't until this year that I realized what I deemed as "unconfident" wasn't always that. Sometimes, what seems like a lack of confidence is just a softer (oftentimes, kinder) personality. I used to equal compliments as weakness since I figured people gave compliments so the favor could be returned. "Tiff, you're so (compliment)" "Next.." Crazy, right? Confidence can be a scary thing, though. It can result in fearlessness, cockiness, and the feeling that even the smallest mistakes equal failure. Confidence makes humbleness almost impossible and can make someone feel like others are unworthy of his or her presence. I feel like the hardest thing to balance is not work and family, not boyfriend/girlfriend and non-romantic friendships. The hardest thing to balance is confidence and humbleness. Noone holds you accountable for who you are, you make that decision yourself. Humbleness with love, I understand. What does confidence with love look like? Just some random thoughts.. |
